Being happy. That's what all of us want, when it comes right down to it, doesn't it? We want to go places, experience life and spend time doing the things we enjoy. But the only reason we want any of it is because we think it will make us happy.
We tend to be more happy when we spend time around people that make us feel good; that like us, uplift us, and enjoy our company. We like having our own free time to do things like going to the movies, or painting, or hiking in the hills - whatever it is that gets our juices going. It could be biking or skiing or mountain climbing or scuba diving. It could be traveling, or taking pictures, or making scrapbooks. It could be flying, sailing, swing dancing, or writing. It doesn't matter what it is.
We do it to experience life and to have fun.
At our deepest level, we know this, and that is why when life becomes painful and heavy and burdensome we become so unhappy. We know we are meant to find our joy and yet we keep finding reasons not to.
If the whole point of living is having fun and you never have fun, it starts to get rough. And because focusing on things that make you feel like crap tend to make you feel even worse, you never gain control of the situation. You feel bad, and you feel bad, and you feel bad, and you feel bas some more, until suddenly you feel a little better and think, this feels too good, something bad must be just about to happen!
And then, even if it doesn't we still find something to focus on that makes us feel unhappy again.
The only reason unpleasant experiences keep happening to us are because we are so well-practiced at finding dissatisfaction with our life circumstances. We have watched things unfold, day after day, and come to expect that this is the best it's gonna get. We think maybe occasionally good things will come our way, but overall, life is pretty damn hard and we just have to get through it.
But why?
Why on earth would you want to get through it when you can live it?
The only way we can ever rediscover the kind of joy that makes us leap out of bed in the morning, thrilled just to be alive, is to choose it. Instead of being jealous of that happy bastard next-door that always seems to have everything in his life going his way, figure out how he does it. It isn't magic.
It's a matter of changing what you focus on. It's easy to be pissed off at parking tickets and drivers that aren't paying attention to where they're driving. It's a piece of cake to blame politicians and governments for all of our problems. But the truth is, they're no one's problems but our own. And the only way that any circumstances are ever going to start going our way is if we filter our thinking. It takes some practice to actually look around and seek out the things that make us happy in every environment we are in instead of just criticizing whatever is in front of us.
If we try to push too hard against life, and work and work and attempt to force it into something that resembles that life we want, it will only ever be that: a semblance. And a distorted, dissatisfying one at that. There is no action we can take that will make life to bend to our will if we cannot first find a way to feel our own joy.
It is only when we find more and more reasons to be happy, smell the flowers, swing on the swings, or dance naked in the moonlight that more miraculous things will begin showing up everywhere we look. Make the extra time to do take goofy pictures, or make shapes in the clouds, or cook marshmallows over a campfire. Stay up a little later, or sleep in a little bit. Spend time with those we love the most. Listen to music in the car that makes you want to sing - and let loose. Dance in the kitchen while you cook. You can enjoy doing anything if you really put your heart into it.
Then a funny thing will happen: suddenly, something that you were wanting will sprout legs and saunter casually into your life.
First it'll be the simple things, like hitting every green light all the way to your destination, and fitting in every single thing you wanted to do without even trying and still having time left over. Then you'll suddenly be getting calls from people who want to be a part of your life because you are so much fun. You'll get invited to do all those things on your bucket list that you've been dying to do for ages and never had money or time or lack of excuses for. Money will start showing up in your life in ways you never could have predicted. You'll feel healthier and more vital every day and find you can eat and enjoy more delicious food than ever before. You'll wake up in the morning feeling the sunlight on your face and the birds chirping and you'll get chills because it feels so good just to be alive.
The only thing is, you've got to be willing to go there (happiness-wise) first. You've got to be willing to look around you at the life you've created for yourself, whatever it looks like, and make peace with it. That place you "have" to go to every day, that person that "drives you crazy", the symptoms in your body that "never go away". Find a way to be okay with where you are, because where you are is only a bouncing-off place.
If you had been born into this life with everything a person could ever want - "perfect" looks, lots of money, impeccable health, endless talent, and that's all life ever was, was more of the same - what would be the point? We would never have the joy of experiencing loss, and then gain. Poverty, and then wealth. Loneliness, and then partnership. Hunger, and then delicious food. Sorrow, and then peace, and finally joy. Frustration, and then acceptance. Cold, and then warm. Darkness, and then light. Life is circular, and all things ebb and flow. If we get stuck in the ebb, we miss out on the flow.
And we can choose to flow more than we ebb, if we only believe it is worth it. But we never know it is until we are there, and only then do we look back at our life and feel a sense of absolute wonder at the total perfection in how it all unfolded, and still continues to do.
We as human beings are expressions of absolute freedom, and the only thing that keeps us bound is our belief that anything in life, including others, can bind us. The truth is, nothing can, and it is only when we truly believe it that we discover it is true. The whole of our life is a perfect expression of our beliefs about our life. We must find what makes us happy, not what makes everyone else in our lives happy with us.
We can't sit around doing the same things and expect life to change. We must change ourselves, and our lives will become a reflection of who we are.
